Fighting Against Reality (Acts 26:14)

2 days ago

3 min read

And when we had all fallen to the ground, I heard a voice saying to me in the Hebrew language, ‘Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me? It is hard for you to kick against the goads.’ - Acts 26:14

These were the words that met Saul's ears at the moment of his conversion experience.

First, it is notable that Jesus says that Saul is persecuting Him, even though Jesus Himself had already ascended into heaven several years prior. This gives deeper meaning to the idea of Christians being "the Body of Christ."

When we are persecuted, Jesus takes it personally. He suffers everything we suffer and feels everything we feel. We are not merely metaphorically the Body of Christ but when we come to faith in Him we are mystically joined to His actual body; it is a union more real than any union we are familiar with on earth.

But the main focus of this reflection is on what Jesus said next to Saul: "It is hard for you to kick against the goads."

A goad was a pointed stick used for directing oxen in the field.

In other words, Jesus was telling Saul that He had been attempting to guide him in life, but that Saul was rebelling against this guidance, and that Saul's rebellion was causing pain, not only to others, but also to Saul himself.

And it was not only hard for Saul to kick against the goads two thousand years ago, but it remains the case for us today.

It is hard to swim against the current of the divine Logos. Such a life doesn't make sense. It is full of frustration and bitterness. It is filled with unnecessary and self-imposed suffering.

It is not that suffering will suddenly cease if we align ourselves with God's will, but it will take on a different flavor. It will be a different class of suffering altogether. It will be redemptive suffering. It will be suffering that works to crucify the illusion of separation within us and thus enable us to experience greater depths of divine love through our union with the crucified and risen Christ.

Kicking against the goads is not easy. But neither is taking up our cross.

Someone who kicks against the goads has made their life difficult by choosing to live in rebellion against Truth and Love. Someone who chooses to pick up their cross has made their life difficult by declaring war on sin, satan, and hell.

Difficulty awaits us either way. But the difference is that in the first case we have made God our enemy, and in the second we have made Him our friend.

From a certain perspective, the life of the Cross is the more difficult path. The way to life is hard and those who find it are few. But in the end it will reveal itself as having been the far easier path. For the infinitely heavy burden of this path becomes light when I come to realize that it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me.